Early warning joke

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'

har!har!har!

source: frowarded email from a friend

Sense of humor (joke)

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

har!har!har!


source: forwarded email from a friend

Husbands are husbands joke

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on
it that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name
of the horse I bet on.'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the
head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned.'

har!har!har!

source: forwarded email from a friend

I love to catch joke

"Of course, there are lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'de love to catch."

har!har!har!

Global warming reason joke

You look really hot! you must be the real reason for global warming.

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3rd wife joke

Guy: you look like my 3rd wife
girl: oh! how many times you been married?
Guy: twice.

har!har!har!

Be careful

"Be careful of what you say or do because.. the walls are thin and not well built!!"

har!har!har!

Tied in a knot joke

Girl: Were you in a boy scout?
Boy: Why?
Girl: Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot!

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You and I joke

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together"

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Brush Teeth Joke

Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth

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Birthday wish Joke

Daddy : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son Daniel : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

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Hospital joke

Mother:(on the phone) Lina where are you now? Are you coming home?
Lina: Mother I'm in the hospital.
Mother: Why? What happened to you?
Lina: I'm working. I'm a nurse don't you remember?


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Growing up joke

"Growing older is mandatory, growing up is optional"

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An Engineer joke

An Engineer, a mathematician and an arts graduate were given the task of finding the height of a church steeple (the first to get the correct solution wins a $1000).

The engineer tried to remember things about differential pressures, but resorted to climbing the steeple and lowering a string on a plumb bob until it touched the ground and then climbed down and measured the length of the string.

The Mathematician layed out a reference line, measured the angle to the top of the steeple from both ends and worked out the height by trigonometry.

However, the arts graduate won the prize. He bought the vicar a beer in the local pub and he told him how high the church steeple was.

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Change Daily Joke

Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily

har!har!har!

Buy happiness Joke

Tiborcio: Whoever Says
'Money Can't Buy Happiness'
Is A Fool ...

Money Can Surely Buy Happiness ...

Give Me Some
and I'll make you happy!

har!har!har!

For sale joke

Vendor: Buy now panties, If you wear this kind of panty you will not get pregnant.
Customer: Really? give me 3 pieces.

3 months later...

Customer: Hey vendor, why I get pregnant? you told me so.
Vendor: Maybe you remove it. You should wear it at all times.

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Mother joke

Mother: (Very angry) Go away, leave this home and you will not call me mother anymore and I will not call you son. Understand?
Son: Yes dude.

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Priest joke

Sexy lady: Father, your cute and handsome. Why you decided to become a priest?
Priest: Because my parents wont allow me to become a nun.


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Cat joke

Tiborsio: I really love our pet cats at home.
Picasio: Why?
Tiborsio: Because even if I put our viand in the table without cover they are not eating it.
Picasio: Really? I cant believe it. Anyway, What is your viand?
Tiborsio: Salt.

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Medicine joke

Nurse: Miss, wake up!
Patient: Ah, why?
Nurse: Its time to drink your medicine.
Patient: What is it?
Nurse: Sleeping pills.

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Aligator joke

girl1: I hate you!
girl2: Why? Whats wrong?
girl1: Because you told me I look like an alligator!
girl2: Why only now you get angry. It was 3 months ago.
girl1: I just have seen the photo of an alligator!!!!


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How to keep idiot busy joke

Q: How to keep an idiot busy
A: Give him a pice of paper with "Please turn over" written on both sides.

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Waiter joke

Customer(angy): Waiter come here! faster!
Waiter: What is it Maam?
Customer: Why there is mosquito in my juice? The other day it was cockroach!
Waiter: Sorry Maam we run out of cockroach!


har!har!har!