Doing Nothing joke

Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'

har!har!har!

source: forwarded email from friend

yes or no joke

Wife :'Do you want dinner?'
Husband:'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife:'Yes or no.'

har!har!har!

source: forwarded email from a friend

Open minded joke

Patient: Doc! What happend to the operation of my brother? I almost can see his brain?
Doctor: No problem, thats what we call "open minded operation"!

har!har!har!

Cheating joke

During final exam..

Teacher: Beverly, what is that? Your cheating?
Beverly: No maam, It is a prayer list of mine.
Teacher: Prayer? Then why it contains all the examination answers?
Beverly: Really ? its a miracle Maam. Its an answered prayer.

hu?

har!har!har!

more than this joke

Wife:'You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?'
Hubby:'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife:'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby:'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'

har!har!har


source: forwarded email from a friend

Its better joke

"Its better to receive then give it back again"

hu!!!

har!har!har!

Is that love?

"I love the way you hate me"

har!har!har!

H2O and CO2 joke

Butyok: What is the difference between H2o and CO2?
Sima: You dont know? Very easy! H2O means water while CO2 is cold water. slow learner! (angry)


hu>

har!har!har!

What does it mean?

A little boy is asking her older sister what is the meaning of idiot

Boy: Ate what do you mean by idiot?
Ate: an idiot is a person who explained a lot of thing in a long ways so that another person have a hard time to understand what he is trying talk about.do you understand what I mean?
Boy: No.


har!har!har!

Mern is like an internet virus

Mern is like an Internet Virus
She
ENTER ur Life,
SCAN ur pockets,
TRANSFER ur money,
EDIT ur mind,
DOWNLOAD her prob.s,
DELETE ur smile
& HANG U 4ever!

har!har!har!

Nothing but the truth

A maried Filipino handsome guy went to the Church to confess: (Little bit offensive..dont take seriously its just a joke)

Priest: Tell me your sin
Handsome Guy: Father forgive me for I have sinned, "I almost had an affair with another woman."
Priest: What! What do you mean almost?
Handsome guy: Yes, almost had an affair, well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.
Priest:Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. Hmmmm. For your penalty, say __ ___ __ 10 times and put 1500 php in the basket
Handsome guy: ok father

***The handsome guy left the confession and went to the basket place then pause for a moment, then leave but the Priest saw him and said

Priest: I was watching you and I saw you did not put money in the basket.
Handsome guy: Yeah, but I rubbed the 1500php on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!

Har!har!har!

Resignation letter with respect

Dear Sir,

I want to tender my resignation letter.
I love your wife.

Respectfully yours,

har!har!har!

If life is in darkness

If your life is in darkness. repent and make yourself free from darkness. If still the same problem, dont forget to pay your electricity bills!


har!har!har!

Math joke

Boy: Daddy please help me find the least common denominator in my Math subject.
Daddy: What a __ _ _!!! I was still in elementary that time. They let us find that LCD and untill now they still cant find it??

har!har!har

The difference between 3 feelings

Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant

har!har!har!

Bestfriend

Many says the if you do not have boyfriend in your life you will missed something in your life.
But I believed if you have it you will lose everything in your life!


har!har!har!

Foolish yet wise

A foolish man get angry if the woman nag and tells her to STOP talking, but for WISE man he will tell the woman that she is the more beautiful if her LIPS are CLOSED.

har!har!har!

Password joke

....While withdrawing in the ATM machine

SHokoy: hahahahahahaha..(bwahahahahah)
Petchay: Why are you laughing? I will scold you!
Shokoy: I know your ATM pin number!!!
Pethcay: SO what is it?
Shokoy: 6 asterisk

huh?

har!har!har!

Stress Reliever joke

Girl:'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

har!har!har!


source: forwarded email from a friend

Daddy's lap joke

Son:'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'

Mom:'Well, you have done the right thing.'

Son:'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

har!har!har!

source: forwarded email from a friend

Fortune joke

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

har!har!har!

source: forwarded email from a friend